How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie
-be healthy (physical and emotional)
-confident, warm, kind, stable, giving
-increase value by solving many problems leads to secure in self, recognition, acceptance
-may feel worthless, insignificant, never lose value as human being
-trigger temper, difficulty, setting boundary or take responsibility, bad habit, change attitude
-believe in value
-forget about insecurity, instead self improve
-practice 30 secs rule with conversation, encourage uplifting compliment, motivate, thanks, praise of personal quality or appearance, tell others of their accomplishments
-attention, affirmation, appreciation
-let people know you need them, give up or get help
-forget the prideful attitude of capable without help, ask who can help or input
-create memory & visit often, plan, set aside time, find a way to make something happen (show diary and photo, relieve talk)
-compliment people infront of other sincerely without hype
-give other a reputation to uphold, think the best & speak of other, back up with action, look pass their past, reputation for future
-say the right word at the right time
-leave unsaid the said the wrong thing at the tempting moment
-say it from the heart
-encourage dream of other, so that it will become a reality
-share, affirm, challenge, offer assistance, revisit dream, determine to boost it
-pass credit onto other
-check ego at the door
-don't wait
-offer the very best , max effort
-share a secret with someone
-mind the goal of good intention (benefit of the doubt)
-assume the best in others, check attitude
-see thing from other perspective
-appreciate of what other intend to do inspit of outcome, forgiveness as permanence attitude, forget about justice, focus on grace & forgiveness
-keep eyes off mirror & serve other with dignity, health & happiness
-do for other what they can't do for themselves: introduce, place, opportunity, share idea
-listen with your heart
-be the first to help
-be aware of other for help
-be willing to take risk
-add value to people, motivate, mutual advantage
-people want appreciation, not impress, human being not sounding board for other ego, end not toward gratification of another vanity
-make self more valuable: knowledge, skills, experience, increases ability to help other
-know what people value
-unclog ear (distraction, defensiveness, close mind, projection, assumption, pride)
-listen aggressively (pick up good idea)
-listen to understand
-find key to heart (family, business)
-accept that people are different
-dream, cry/pain, sing/joy (strength) value, temperament, act with integrity
-remember a person story
-look people in the eye, be attentive
-don't roll eye if not agree, don't interrupt, verify, remember
-share a good story: experience, goal of connecting, put heart into it (warm), assume other want to hear it
-give with no string attach (time, money, talent) abundant mentality
-remember people name, save
-point out people strength, self strength
-all player have a place where they most value
-look for best in other: force other to have good opinion on themselves, let other know you believe in them, speak up, encouragement, opportunity
-write not of encouragement
-what they like about other
-help people win: believe, hope, focus on process
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