Thursday, December 15, 2011

Introverted leader book note

The Introverted Leader by Jennifer Kahnweiler

1-mind body connection: headache, stomachache, back pain, awkward with people equal stress
-hold feeling inside when frustrated, people exhaustion endure with clench teeth
-need time to decompress after spent time with other
-surprise, need to response quick & no answer, use data to discredit pt., being out going, conversational & engage equal stress
2-perception gap: how people see & think see
-silent, sparse word, slow thinker
-withdrawn, gruff, insensitive, rude
-inside strong, aware, bright, fumbling, high voiced silly girl
-listen, hear fact from diff. view & process, pause to offer carefully considered response leads to procrastinator or indecisive
-weak, not push back, can easily manipulated, therefore should be more assertive
-career de-railer, soft skills: under sell, miss connection, avoid politics, working harder not smarter
-accomplishment: miss opportunity, talk about skill & potential
-missconnection: who you know, chat about family & sport with boss
-if not branch out of comfort zone & expand network in/out of work, not visible & valuable asset
-avoid politic: gossip, rumor, innuendo, back stabbing
-good politic connect with people other respect & well network, spending time & finding out their priorities & needs
-working harder, not smarter: lack critical people skill, if not learn effective of getting comfortable with being with people, tense leads to not effective performance
-invisivility: idea not heard, loss opportunity & personal power
-insight, idea, solution unheard
-invisibility: faulty assumption, awareness helps
-potential obstacle as opportunity to change, action 4 P
-preparation, present, push, practice (stress, perception gap, derail career, invisibility) leads to move forward
-successful & non effective interaction leads to plan differently
-prepare in conversation, presentation, challenging people, as project leads to reduce stress & perception gap
-for meeting, write down possible q & a, role play with friend
-if not prepare q's, draw from knowledge
-prepare extensive not, specific phrase, time to be alone, strategize interaction, pause for specific q's & phrase to say
-take note & rehearse with trusted peer
-observe those with great interpersonal skill & integrate into style
-present empathy & integrity for rapport & personal power
-ask intelligent q's that show interest
-offer reason to guidance
-prepare for unanticipated, back up topic, generic open end q's
-stress reduction technique: breath
-tell story
-push do what most afraid (fear) build relationship with boss, mingle with a purpose, answer challenge (force)
-public speak or difficult conversation with customer
-you still want to know what you can do
-practice proficient, incorporate many tool into standing repertoire, keep fresh & experiment with different way to connect with people & deliver message
-recalibrate approach & demeanor depend on situation
-awkward at first, after awhile, reasonably confident, not total at ease & stress free, over time, fluid
-conscious repetition: view as who want to be
-increase trust & credibility with coworker & boss, decrease invisibility
-strengthen soft spot: maintain quiet demeanor, but adapt style to meet need challenge, strong result
-temperament: gene & environment
-quiz: leadership skill
-public speak: prepare story & example, rehearse out loud, use voice for max impact, opportunity to practice
-manager & leader: balance hand on & delegation, personal & communication style, fully present listen, conflict when necessary
-project: build credibility with member, clear in informing people of expectation, share lime light, humor to stimulate creativity & team work
-managing up: meet with boss regularly & prepare q's on role & goal, approach with problem & potential solution, give/receive feedback prepare agenda & ask for agenda for meeting, handle bully in meeting, speak up when have something to contribute, variety of group technique to involve participant
-build relationship: know what to offer networking, use social network tool, engage in substance vs. small talk, value known in/out of organization
-seek specific solution, be more focus
-ask for feedback from manager & peer, which skill more value, priority
-strength (eg. share lime light)
-presentation with ease & confident
-voice & hand shake
-idea coherently, act
-educate, inform, persuade
-challenge individual to talk to you & each other
-business case & problem to be solve
-present idea & summarize: deliver command performance
-study material, anticipate q's, enter room ready to b expert
-synergy of prepare & attitude
-prepare story, example for pt.
-reveal flaw, tell happening
-conquer fear, reflect, focus, spontaneous, being present & get involve with audience, listen to gut, flexibility
-nervous: past success, preparation, great feeling of deliver message of value
-visualization, relax, deep breath
-eat good breakfast, increase rest & water, decrease caffeine, snack
-rehearse out loud, early, last minute review, help a little
-present connect with audience, voice, body language, pause b4/after pt.
-story, picture, practice
-managing & leading genuine & sincere interest in people to issue, both personal & work related leads to trust & honest communication
-one on one deep conversation
-good listener
-name, children, pet
-don't ask too many q's, focus on answer
-inverted oriented, reflective, think before acting
-encourager, communicator, courageous, great listener equal good boss
-sense of humor, show empathy, decisive, take responsibility, humble, share authority
-blank wall, doubter, secretive, intimidating, bad temper, self center, indecisive, blame other, arrogant, show mistrust equal bad boss
-give up some of know & like to know leads to job satisfaction & self esteem
-don't know & may not like leads to initially satisfaction & self esteem
-certainty, specificity, answer leads to assignment unclear leads to training, managing, answering
-know self, know team, build team, see big picture
-manage self: assert & liability (compensate): experience, skill, trait, value, like/dislike, emotional intelligent
-increase objective, detach when needed, show appropriate concern for other, ask for help when needed, value for team & self esteem
-ask for challenging assignment & opportunity
-lack of delegation as weakness
-know team: sensing fact & detail, intuition: listen for big picture
-introvert leader: request description of problem with time frame for solution, walk away, internalize
-build motivation: know important to people
-see big picture: left brain (manage: orderly, analytical, structure, predictable)
right brain (leader: unstructured, creative, visionary, less orderly)
-presence: profound impression
-learn to delegate, listen with atonement, observe facial expression
-delegate: lead, plan, coach, match right person to task, know capability, guide leads to slack
-listen with atonement/depth: empathy leads to rapport & presence
-lay out objective, goal, task
-adapt style based on people & situation, step out of comfort zone
-introvert less challenge & criticize, listen assertive, reserve & quiet, gather info, analyze, articulate direction
-facial expression: competent at demonstrate emotion & read other expression, close perception gap, reduce stress, be presence
-push assert self, have conversation, face conflict, learn about organization, keep learning
-assert not aggressive, direct, open, honest communication to please other & avoid conflict leads to increase resentment, passive aggressive equal jerk
-ask for need in direct, open manner
-share info, clear, direct
-watch role model, take class
-conversation: talk to people work with at least weekly
-index card for people: feedback, specific q's leads to recognize & decrease face to face impromptu meeting
-conflict: disagree, natural necessary, normal leads to creative solution to problem, productive action
-adjust approach to diversity
-learn organization leads to suggest direction for upper management
--take temporary assignment
-think result benefit
-practice with support system one on one rely on experience member
-ask for training needed to be successful
-managing: hidden talent or too much time & energy, risk not worth reward
-productive solution & move on
-influence people, not report to you & get result
-willing to meet people on turf & step out of confined world
-prepare: leadership, people, technical skill, business savvy
-coach & mentor: encourage & review doc. before meeting, analyze implication, what individual wanted & appropriate q's to ask
-career management & advice
-diffuse difficult personal conflict & identify skill development need within
-negotiate & mentor
-talk to learn member indiv., why involvement matter, benefit of project leads to understand need & priority, plan strategy & prevent further problem
-communicate expectation: task ownership, check pt., role & responsibility leads to demotivating & disappointing
-written form of communication
-presence
-solicite input
-match medium to message
-learn to flip switch
-confusion, lack of direction, perception gap prevent & miss good idea
-email: rely info appointment & data, report, business case, plan
-text & instant msg: quick answer, on the spot planing
-phone: reference email sent, develop relationship & build credibility
face to face: important news, fire, launch project, praise team, work out issue & problem
-meeting game: clear important info & feedback
-stop & chat, moderate
-get out of front line, not necessary to speak to everyone all the time, everyday, find extrovert
-learn to flip switch: understand between introvert (development, sit in cube, collaborating when needed through web base, discussion board) & extrovert (functional, meeting to think out loud)
-meet both need: status with middle ground goal in mind, less frequency, short duration, clear agenda
-extrovert: limit report, assign social situation & smooching, more visual & vocal in participation, encourage to speak one on one & ask q's
-introvert: negotiate, feeling of heard & listen to, creating sense of trust, not easily distracted, or multi task, busy, productive limit chat
-push: excel outside comfort zone, share lime light, deal with change, appreciate humor
1-praise team as goal reach: celebrate indiv. contribution
-recognize self, take nee break to refresh & recharge
-update project
2-comm. clearly with member, ask q's, listen to concern, translate new direction
-initiate meeting with boss strengthen relationship
3-smile leads to humor & high emotion intelligent, more than all about work, more human, permission to lighten up from mistake, strengthen immune system
-celebrate b-day of member by bring break fast, toy, outing
-dispair.com
-301 ways to have fun @ work book
-managing up: wait & see, approach not good, lost opportunity
-research bkgnd comm. style & prior job meet, prepare case q's & talk pt., state purpose & need, listen, ask q's & build rapport, to the port or free flow
-state budget need & ask when can check back, smile, stick to time limit
-follow up, update staff on current, be persistent & timely
-regularly meeting with boss, solicit feedback on verbal & non verbal with coach, ask for what I need with other indiv. in organization
-politic with integrity: influence boss to achieve stronger partnership & achieve goal for self & people represent
-don't have to like or admire boss nor hate, but need to manage so become resource for achievement, accomplishment & personal success
-goal & how to fit in: strength & weakness, expectation on & how I can do to help me voice tone, facial expression, eye contact & smile, demonstrate patience
-no news is good news
-temperament & style, follow cue
-help boss know how to help you mentor through thorough preparation, personal development leads to learning or lose motivation, not contributing new skill, expose new area or diff. career
-strength can use, project to contribute skill & background
-learn new skill or gain new perspective
-knowledge, skill, experience valuable to learn, willing to teach or pro. to help
-develop presence: be yourself, pick low hanging fruit, no whining
1-responsible to adjust to boss's management & be yourself, solicit feedback: what is & not working, ask to be specific & ask specific q's
-be focus & clear about objective
-don't be kiss ass, be open & honest
-casual conversation, eat lunch with boss when appropriate
2-easy result in short term & doc. success
3-no whining, come with solution, not problem
-push: speak up, know when not to manage up, stay on top of change
-share update about plan
-give feedback positive & improvement their action affect, keep specific & focus on behavior
-situation, action, result/consequence (SAR)
-alternative action (AA)
-alternative result (AR)
-constructive change, not assigning blame
-micromanage: update, weekly email summary, high light up coming project
-know when not to manage up if manager feel threaten or organization in turmoil
-coach from people respect in how to handle manager
-learn from bad boss
-ethical violation, trust broken, frustrated & lose motivation
-other career option
-stay on top of change: learn boss's goal
-managing boss science & art, mutual goal met
-meeting: execution, step out & be confidence to let idea heard
-not credit for contribution, idea pre empt or hijack by other, be perceive as not add much value to group
-focus & result on meeting
-watching a few matches, taking lesson, take grasp of score
-size up opponent & develop strategy
-know purpose, have agenda, plan where to sit & stand
-why, goal, voice up no more than 5 min in room (comment, q's, paraphrase) practice in mirror
-sit a few seat away from leader meeting conference , call stand, initial chit chat
-presence: set ground rule, creative to involve member, separate brain storming from decision making

-ethic & cultural Asian: concern & group discussion, get idea, agree/disagree vote, end suggestion, 1 went well, 1 need improve
-participate with mouth & head, show respect: no side conversation & 1 at a time
-main pt, confidentiality, silent
-be on time
-put problem on top of sheet & ask for solution, pass around
-push self to speak up & engage other is to get best thing of everyone
-if someone not speaking for a while, say name & ask what they think, put q's for group 2 min on topic opinion, 2-3 on writing
-small group 4-6 to discuss problem & report back
-take the floor, getting heard despite resistant from talker
-tip for handle talker at meeting, don't smile or nodded head in agreement, flat expression
-don't shout out of frustration, discuss topic offline
-hold up a stop signal hand & say I would like to say something
-strong voice, I am speaking & would like to finish my thought
-prepare to comment with confidence look in eyes
-miss opportunity in meeting, look for them afterward
-picture you're value at meeting action move project forwarrd
-meet with team lead after & post ground rule
-right brain: creative, emotional
-left brain: logical process & thinking
-2 meeting extended break to separate brainstorm & decision
-response the next day
-technology friend/foe, get involve, take the floor
-introvert comfortable comm: email, instant msg, text, social network site
-prohibit lab top to meeting due to seem not to pay attention
-good if use to instant msg other member b4 response to boss, but may disengage & invisibility
-live presence, contribute comment
-interactive training project
-build relationship, net working, mutual exchange
-prepare purpose, what to offer, what needed, social network to set stage, defeat negative self talk
-forget networking, consider influencer, plan to sit with them
-keen observeer, listen & learn more about specific customer need
-prepare q's for social situation, need answer to important q's
-plan what to offer, mutual exchange, work, resource, info, experience, expertise
-speak of interest, offer best self
-plan what needed
-want to learn
-wall, avoid conflict, instead assertive comm, needed disclose, back/force problem solving affected them
-social network site is warm relationship follow up with invite
-prepare to ask q's what you likeabout job, talk about self, interest
-learn something new, not replace face to face
-replace negative self talk, self defeating, keep onside line
-don't know about ability until try
-uncomfortable with small talk, more comfortable by prepare q's ahead of time or research
-guilty, don't have, do other thing
-find way to overcome fear that incapacitate us in build relationship
-recharge batter b4 people oriented encounter
-endure networking one on one
-listen, engage in substance talks, learn & teach name, answer q's
-focus attention, hard to read & gruff outside, inside gentle
-sometimes misunderstood
-strong ability to listen & connect
-substance talk is mutual interest
-break ice is common ground other
-talk about them, weather, movie, sport
-learn & teach name, connect name & object
-I am...to...for example
-push, move out of typical role, volunteer to help
-act the part (as if confidence), start conversation with people at grocery store, schedule visit with customer when at location for another purpose, table top conversation start & cont.
-stay close to comfortable socializer & connect through their connection
-volunteer & learn
-practice, safe environment, web press current, put attention on other person & helping them
-blogging name & expertise in article express thought & interest
-win from use 4 p process, visualize, increase confidence, decrease anxiety, reflect on purpose, manage stress leads to fruitful conversation, take note, prep q's advantage & positive impression
-presence: manage stress & close perception gap leads to clear rational look at situation & take action, yoga, aware of tension, relax to decrease stress, clear head & focus when deal with work & other people
-how hold self affect how perceived awkward discomfort in own body not info impart
-push to be more engage
-opportunity is luck meet preparation
-find best mentor
-practice is decrease stress, perception gap, career de railer & invisibility
-lack social initiative
-never spoke, people thought slow
-slow thinker is thoughtful, reflective rather than procrastinator or indecisive
-good idea, need time to think, get back in morning or this afternoon
-coping is practice, learn & growth, wear coat (armor) invisible
-share heart, mind, potential with other, self & other benefit
-build on quiet strength
-prepare dialogue & research needed to build trust & commitment
-best time to approach boss
-issue, gripe, personal concern get in way of doing best, job re rail & understand challenge
-contribute idea & not remain silent
-persuade by learning & negotiating, build on listening & problem solving skill, push to engage
-credibility, frame for common ground, provide evidence & connect emotionally
-resilience during inevitable change
-on going personal & professional development, step out of ineffective behavior
-engagement & inspiration
-try too hard to change is shadow dark side understress leads to negative result, increase 4 p, more study leads to more confuse, anxious, second guess, leads to act the role of a sociable person, pretend to be confident, reframe anxious situation by imagining & act as if & behavior in out going manner, too on, asking too many q's, converse all about self, laughing too often or loudly, exhaust self & other try to connect
-skill practice, role play, problem solving
-excess push, emphasize weakness
-cont. press too hard leads to exhaustion & self defeat, believe never get it, give up, inauthentic
-setting where shine
-move to success, enter smiling, call people by name, congrat, intro people to each other, tell amusing antidote
-body language, non verbal, how perceived, slow deep breath, relax shoulder & put on genuine smile, eye contact, move on politely when break in conversation
-step out of comfortable & familia leads to increasing visibility & recognition
-potential job opportunity
-practice the answer to q's might be ask & write down list of conversation starter
-set specific goal: identify possible improvement area from quiz, 2-3 action take to improve, measure completion, source of support, completion date
-if you believe it, you can achieve it, commit to change

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