Don't sweat the small stuff book note

Don't sweat the small stuff for women by Richard Carlson

-give yourself the gift of forgiveness
-be real open up, speak from you heart, being very honest & asking in depth q's about happiness & hardship
-"this too, shall pass"
-"lower threshold/stress"
-stop swimming upstream, having the humility to admit that you're fighting too hard
-create beauty from the inside out: feel calm, happy, peaceful with more light hearted attitude
-my way is not the way, it's just my way
-stop magnifying the flaws "perfection" does not exist
-go ahead & vent (one time), but get it off your chest
-set your own priority
-don't trip on your own baggage/excess, no longer need emotional baggage we don't need, living in the past
-get off your own hamster wheel/circular thinking, when in low mood
-fear (common sense attitude) unbalance leads to destructive, intuition (ability to tune into innate wisdom)
-set clear boundaries, avoid letting people take advantage, feeling of anger & resentment defines what it is, limit must be reasonable, fair
-use your career for your spiritual work for growth, choose to resolve conflict with love & compassion or hold responsible
-know when your ego is getting the best of you
-consider that he may not have the "eye" for it
-remain calm & make the best of bad situation
-rise above the rut of routine
-be grateful for small things
-find your own way & cont.to eval. your choice
-allow enthusiasm bubble up from you
-share the "nice" stories
-balance, support, no over schedule
-diffuse thought of explosion
-when all else fails, laugh
-complain to the right person
-don't let anger get the best of you
-seize your opportunities
-widen your scope & get some perspective
-renegotiate your boundaries
-don't fight fire with fire, unless it's a control burn
-when trying to simplify/reduce stress, think prevention
-don't take it all so seriously
-know your hot spot/emotional trigger
-own your emotion
-remember that a low mood is only temporarily
-treasure the journey

sensitive self book note

The sensitive self by Michael Eigen

-psycho therapy: attentive waiting, informed art of indecision
-reflection, experiencing, feeling, feeling feelings, time of experience vs.
-speed of thoughts & action, necessary for certain emergency, not a criterion of being
-if we do not listen to devil in each other, we will shut each other out, get defensive, listen open up rather than fighting/hiding
-listening evolve, more important vs.
-fight & run away
-open mind & pathway of communication, transmission, labor of love, love of labor, from one soul to another
-find heaven & let it go, don’t force your heaven on others or give yours up too long for someone else’s version
-negotiating heaven, emotional riches
-heaven keeps changing
-inside mean sensitivity, vulnerability, feelings for others deep inside us
-the way we touch each other & touch in each other invites reflective wisdom & growth
-no heaven without inspiration, no inspiration without desperation & imaginative fury
-dread & love opposite of breath
-see beauty & horror
-hear marvelous music & scream
-if we want to be only 1 thing, meaning is frustrating, but if we are willing to be open, what a treasure a life of meaning is, meanings are always multiple
swinging between emotional access & opportunity for reflection
-alternative conclusion
-need each other perspective to correct & amplify each other
-one cannot stop other's way, other think or the way one think of one self
-mutation of sensitive responsiveness

Introverted leader book note

The Introverted Leader by Jennifer Kahnweiler

1-mind body connection: headache, stomachache, back pain, awkward with people equal stress

-hold feeling inside when frustrated, people exhaustion endure with clench teeth

-need time to decompress after spent time with other

-surprise, need to response quick & no answer, use data to discredit pt., being out going, conversational & engage equal stress

2-perception gap: how people see & think see

-silent, sparse word, slow thinker

-withdrawn, gruff, insensitive, rude

-inside strong, aware, bright, fumbling, high voiced silly girl

-listen, hear fact from diff. view & process, pause to offer carefully considered response leads to procrastinator or indecisive

-weak, not push back, can easily manipulated, therefore should be more assertive

-career de-railer, soft skills: under sell, miss connection, avoid politics, working harder not smarter

-accomplishment: miss opportunity, talk about skill & potential

-missconnection: who you know, chat about family & sport with boss

-if not branch out of comfort zone & expand network in/out of work, not visible & valuable asset

-avoid politic: gossip, rumor, innuendo, back stabbing

-good politic connect with people other respect & well network, spending time & finding out their priorities & needs

-working harder, not smarter: lack critical people skill, if not learn effective of getting comfortable with being with people, tense leads to not effective performance

-invisivility: idea not heard, loss opportunity & personal power

-insight, idea, solution unheard

-invisibility: faulty assumption, awareness helps

-potential obstacle as opportunity to change, action 4 P

-preparation, present, push, practice (stress, perception gap, derail career, invisibility) leads to move forward

-successful & non effective interaction leads to plan differently

-prepare in conversation, presentation, challenging people, as project leads to reduce stress & perception gap

-for meeting, write down possible q & a, role play with friend

-if not prepare q's, draw from knowledge

-prepare extensive not, specific phrase, time to be alone, strategize interaction, pause for specific q's & phrase to say

-take note & rehearse with trusted peer

-observe those with great interpersonal skill & integrate into style

-present empathy & integrity for rapport & personal power

-ask intelligent q's that show interest

-offer reason to guidance

-prepare for unanticipated, back up topic, generic open end q's

-stress reduction technique: breath

-tell story

-push do what most afraid (fear) build relationship with boss, mingle with a purpose, answer challenge (force)

-public speak or difficult conversation with customer

-you still want to know what you can do

-practice proficient, incorporate many tool into standing repertoire, keep fresh & experiment with different way to connect with people & deliver message

-recalibrate approach & demeanor depend on situation

-awkward at first, after awhile, reasonably confident, not total at ease & stress free, over time, fluid

-conscious repetition: view as who want to be

-increase trust & credibility with coworker & boss, decrease invisibility

-strengthen soft spot: maintain quiet demeanor, but adapt style to meet need challenge, strong result

-temperament: gene & environment

-quiz: leadership skill

-public speak: prepare story & example, rehearse out loud, use voice for max impact, opportunity to practice

-manager & leader: balance hand on & delegation, personal & communication style, fully present listen, conflict when necessary

-project: build credibility with member, clear in informing people of expectation, share lime light, humor to stimulate creativity & team work

-managing up: meet with boss regularly & prepare q's on role & goal, approach with problem & potential solution, give/receive feedback prepare agenda & ask for agenda for meeting, handle bully in meeting, speak up when have something to contribute, variety of group technique to involve participant

-build relationship: know what to offer networking, use social network tool, engage in substance vs. small talk, value known in/out of organization

-seek specific solution, be more focus

-ask for feedback from manager & peer, which skill more value, priority

-strength (eg. share lime light)

-presentation with ease & confident

-voice & hand shake

-idea coherently, act

-educate, inform, persuade

-challenge individual to talk to you & each other

-business case & problem to be solve

-present idea & summarize: deliver command performance

-study material, anticipate q's, enter room ready to b expert

-synergy of prepare & attitude

-prepare story, example for pt.

-reveal flaw, tell happening

-conquer fear, reflect, focus, spontaneous, being present & get involve with audience, listen to gut, flexibility

-nervous: past success, preparation, great feeling of deliver message of value

-visualization, relax, deep breath

-eat good breakfast, increase rest & water, decrease caffeine, snack

-rehearse out loud, early, last minute review, help a little

-present connect with audience, voice, body language, pause b4/after pt.

-story, picture, practice

-managing & leading genuine & sincere interest in people to issue, both personal & work related leads to trust & honest communication

-one on one deep conversation

-good listener

-name, children, pet

-don't ask too many q's, focus on answer

-inverted oriented, reflective, think before acting

-encourager, communicator, courageous, great listener equal good boss

-sense of humor, show empathy, decisive, take responsibility, humble, share authority

-blank wall, doubter, secretive, intimidating, bad temper, self center, indecisive, blame other, arrogant, show mistrust equal bad boss

-give up some of know & like to know leads to job satisfaction & self esteem

-don't know & may not like leads to initially satisfaction & self esteem

-certainty, specificity, answer leads to assignment unclear leads to training, managing, answering

-know self, know team, build team, see big picture

-manage self: assert & liability (compensate): experience, skill, trait, value, like/dislike, emotional intelligent

-increase objective, detach when needed, show appropriate concern for other, ask for help when needed, value for team & self esteem

-ask for challenging assignment & opportunity

-lack of delegation as weakness

-know team: sensing fact & detail, intuition: listen for big picture

-introvert leader: request description of problem with time frame for solution, walk away, internalize

-build motivation: know important to people

-see big picture: left brain (manage: orderly, analytical, structure, predictable)

right brain (leader: unstructured, creative, visionary, less orderly)

-presence: profound impression

-learn to delegate, listen with atonement, observe facial expression

-delegate: lead, plan, coach, match right person to task, know capability, guide leads to slack

-listen with atonement/depth: empathy leads to rapport & presence

-lay out objective, goal, task

-adapt style based on people & situation, step out of comfort zone

-introvert less challenge & criticize, listen assertive, reserve & quiet, gather info, analyze, articulate direction

-facial expression: competent at demonstrate emotion & read other expression, close perception gap, reduce stress, be presence

-push assert self, have conversation, face conflict, learn about organization, keep learning

-assert not aggressive, direct, open, honest communication to please other & avoid conflict leads to increase resentment, passive aggressive equal jerk

-ask for need in direct, open manner

-share info, clear, direct

-watch role model, take class

-conversation: talk to people work with at least weekly

-index card for people: feedback, specific q's leads to recognize & decrease face to face impromptu meeting

-conflict: disagree, natural necessary, normal leads to creative solution to problem, productive action

-adjust approach to diversity

-learn organization leads to suggest direction for upper management

--take temporary assignment

-think result benefit

-practice with support system one on one rely on experience member

-ask for training needed to be successful

-managing: hidden talent or too much time & energy, risk not worth reward

-productive solution & move on

-influence people, not report to you & get result

-willing to meet people on turf & step out of confined world

-prepare: leadership, people, technical skill, business savvy

-coach & mentor: encourage & review doc. before meeting, analyze implication, what individual wanted & appropriate q's to ask

-career management & advice

-diffuse difficult personal conflict & identify skill development need within

-negotiate & mentor

-talk to learn member indiv., why involvement matter, benefit of project leads to understand need & priority, plan strategy & prevent further problem

-communicate expectation: task ownership, check pt., role & responsibility leads to demotivating & disappointing

-written form of communication

-presence

-solicite input

-match medium to message

-learn to flip switch

-confusion, lack of direction, perception gap prevent & miss good idea

-email: rely info appointment & data, report, business case, plan

-text & instant msg: quick answer, on the spot planing

-phone: reference email sent, develop relationship & build credibility

face to face: important news, fire, launch project, praise team, work out issue & problem

-meeting game: clear important info & feedback

-stop & chat, moderate

-get out of front line, not necessary to speak to everyone all the time, everyday, find extrovert

-learn to flip switch: understand between introvert (development, sit in cube, collaborating when needed through web base, discussion board) & extrovert (functional, meeting to think out loud)

-meet both need: status with middle ground goal in mind, less frequency, short duration, clear agenda

-extrovert: limit report, assign social situation & smooching, more visual & vocal in participation, encourage to speak one on one & ask q's

-introvert: negotiate, feeling of heard & listen to, creating sense of trust, not easily distracted, or multi task, busy, productive limit chat

-push: excel outside comfort zone, share lime light, deal with change, appreciate humor

1-praise team as goal reach: celebrate indiv. contribution

-recognize self, take nee break to refresh & recharge

-update project

2-comm. clearly with member, ask q's, listen to concern, translate new direction

-initiate meeting with boss strengthen relationship

3-smile leads to humor & high emotion intelligent, more than all about work, more human, permission to lighten up from mistake, strengthen immune system

-celebrate b-day of member by bring break fast, toy, outing

-dispair.com

-301 ways to have fun @ work book

-managing up: wait & see, approach not good, lost opportunity

-research bkgnd comm. style & prior job meet, prepare case q's & talk pt., state purpose & need, listen, ask q's & build rapport, to the port or free flow

-state budget need & ask when can check back, smile, stick to time limit

-follow up, update staff on current, be persistent & timely

-regularly meeting with boss, solicit feedback on verbal & non verbal with coach, ask for what I need with other indiv. in organization

-politic with integrity: influence boss to achieve stronger partnership & achieve goal for self & people represent

-don't have to like or admire boss nor hate, but need to manage so become resource for achievement, accomplishment & personal success

-goal & how to fit in: strength & weakness, expectation on & how I can do to help me voice tone, facial expression, eye contact & smile, demonstrate patience

-no news is good news

-temperament & style, follow cue

-help boss know how to help you mentor through thorough preparation, personal development leads to learning or lose motivation, not contributing new skill, expose new area or diff. career

-strength can use, project to contribute skill & background

-learn new skill or gain new perspective

-knowledge, skill, experience valuable to learn, willing to teach or pro. to help

-develop presence: be yourself, pick low hanging fruit, no whining

1-responsible to adjust to boss's management & be yourself, solicit feedback: what is & not working, ask to be specific & ask specific q's

-be focus & clear about objective

-don't be kiss ass, be open & honest

-casual conversation, eat lunch with boss when appropriate

2-easy result in short term & doc. success

3-no whining, come with solution, not problem

-push: speak up, know when not to manage up, stay on top of change

-share update about plan

-give feedback positive & improvement their action affect, keep specific & focus on behavior

-situation, action, result/consequence (SAR)

-alternative action (AA)

-alternative result (AR)

-constructive change, not assigning blame

-micromanage: update, weekly email summary, high light up coming project

-know when not to manage up if manager feel threaten or organization in turmoil

-coach from people respect in how to handle manager

-learn from bad boss

-ethical violation, trust broken, frustrated & lose motivation

-other career option

-stay on top of change: learn boss's goal

-managing boss science & art, mutual goal met

-meeting: execution, step out & be confidence to let idea heard

-not credit for contribution, idea pre empt or hijack by other, be perceive as not add much value to group

-focus & result on meeting

-watching a few matches, taking lesson, take grasp of score

-size up opponent & develop strategy

-know purpose, have agenda, plan where to sit & stand

-why, goal, voice up no more than 5 min in room (comment, q's, paraphrase) practice in mirror

-sit a few seat away from leader meeting conference , call stand, initial chit chat

-presence: set ground rule, creative to involve member, separate brain storming from decision making

-ethic & cultural Asian: concern & group discussion, get idea, agree/disagree vote, end suggestion, 1 went well, 1 need improve
-participate with mouth & head, show respect: no side conversation & 1 at a time
-main pt, confidentiality, silent
-be on time
-put problem on top of sheet & ask for solution, pass around
-push self to speak up & engage other is to get best thing of everyone
-if someone not speaking for a while, say name & ask what they think, put q's for group 2 min on topic opinion, 2-3 on writing
-small group 4-6 to discuss problem & report back
-take the floor, getting heard despite resistant from talker
-tip for handle talker at meeting, don't smile or nodded head in agreement, flat expression
-don't shout out of frustration, discuss topic offline
-hold up a stop signal hand & say I would like to say something
-strong voice, I am speaking & would like to finish my thought
-prepare to comment with confidence look in eyes
-miss opportunity in meeting, look for them afterward
-picture you're value at meeting action move project forwarrd
-meet with team lead after & post ground rule
-right brain: creative, emotional
-left brain: logical process & thinking
-2 meeting extended break to separate brainstorm & decision
-response the next day
-technology friend/foe, get involve, take the floor
-introvert comfortable comm: email, instant msg, text, social network site
-prohibit lab top to meeting due to seem not to pay attention
-good if use to instant msg other member b4 response to boss, but may disengage & invisibility
-live presence, contribute comment
-interactive training project
-build relationship, net working, mutual exchange
-prepare purpose, what to offer, what needed, social network to set stage, defeat negative self talk
-forget networking, consider influencer, plan to sit with them
-keen observeer, listen & learn more about specific customer need
-prepare q's for social situation, need answer to important q's
-plan what to offer, mutual exchange, work, resource, info, experience, expertise
-speak of interest, offer best self
-plan what needed
-want to learn
-wall, avoid conflict, instead assertive comm, needed disclose, back/force problem solving affected them
-social network site is warm relationship follow up with invite
-prepare to ask q's what you likeabout job, talk about self, interest
-learn something new, not replace face to face
-replace negative self talk, self defeating, keep onside line
-don't know about ability until try
-uncomfortable with small talk, more comfortable by prepare q's ahead of time or research
-guilty, don't have, do other thing
-find way to overcome fear that incapacitate us in build relationship
-recharge batter b4 people oriented encounter
-endure networking one on one
-listen, engage in substance talks, learn & teach name, answer q's
-focus attention, hard to read & gruff outside, inside gentle
-sometimes misunderstood
-strong ability to listen & connect
-substance talk is mutual interest
-break ice is common ground other
-talk about them, weather, movie, sport
-learn & teach name, connect name & object
-I am...to...for example
-push, move out of typical role, volunteer to help
-act the part (as if confidence), start conversation with people at grocery store, schedule visit with customer when at location for another purpose, table top conversation start & cont.
-stay close to comfortable socializer & connect through their connection
-volunteer & learn
-practice, safe environment, web press current, put attention on other person & helping them
-blogging name & expertise in article express thought & interest
-win from use 4 p process, visualize, increase confidence, decrease anxiety, reflect on purpose, manage stress leads to fruitful conversation, take note, prep q's advantage & positive impression
-presence: manage stress & close perception gap leads to clear rational look at situation & take action, yoga, aware of tension, relax to decrease stress, clear head & focus when deal with work & other people
-how hold self affect how perceived awkward discomfort in own body not info impart
-push to be more engage
-opportunity is luck meet preparation
-find best mentor
-practice is decrease stress, perception gap, career de railer & invisibility
-lack social initiative
-never spoke, people thought slow
-slow thinker is thoughtful, reflective rather than procrastinator or indecisive
-good idea, need time to think, get back in morning or this afternoon
-coping is practice, learn & growth, wear coat (armor) invisible
-share heart, mind, potential with other, self & other benefit
-build on quiet strength
-prepare dialogue & research needed to build trust & commitment
-best time to approach boss
-issue, gripe, personal concern get in way of doing best, job re rail & understand challenge
-contribute idea & not remain silent
-persuade by learning & negotiating, build on listening & problem solving skill, push to engage
-credibility, frame for common ground, provide evidence & connect emotionally
-resilience during inevitable change
-on going personal & professional development, step out of ineffective behavior
-engagement & inspiration
-try too hard to change is shadow dark side understress leads to negative result, increase 4 p, more study leads to more confuse, anxious, second guess, leads to act the role of a sociable person, pretend to be confident, reframe anxious situation by imagining & act as if & behavior in out going manner, too on, asking too many q's, converse all about self, laughing too often or loudly, exhaust self & other try to connect
-skill practice, role play, problem solving
-excess push, emphasize weakness
-cont. press too hard leads to exhaustion & self defeat, believe never get it, give up, inauthentic
-setting where shine
-move to success, enter smiling, call people by name, congrat, intro people to each other, tell amusing antidote
-body language, non verbal, how perceived, slow deep breath, relax shoulder & put on genuine smile, eye contact, move on politely when break in conversation
-step out of comfortable & familia leads to increasing visibility & recognition
-potential job opportunity
-practice the answer to q's might be ask & write down list of conversation starter
-set specific goal: identify possible improvement area from quiz, 2-3 action take to improve, measure completion, source of support, completion date
-if you believe it, you can achieve it, commit to change

Dealing with difficult people

Difficult people

-focus on themselves, not personal

-plan approach

-be positive

-express feeling, don't bottle up, irritation, outrage, annoyance, hurt, avoid accusation, ask clarification

-invite other to express feeling

-open end q's about feeling & opinion

-dispute, hold off personal blame

-practice generosity & graciousness, treat enemy as friend, be wary but courteous

-ask opinion & help transform behavior

-keep them in perspective: minority

Boss

-don't take personal & tell how important in helping advance career

-send progress memo

-ask factual answer, own up decision

-refrain from return fire, remove self temporarily

-rumor: confront source, ask

-good acting skill

-be more proactive, stop problem before happen, adjust work habit

-if all else fail, get a new job

Dealing with different preceptors

What nursing student should know

Credit: NurseNarcole (youtube)

-type A aggressive: find out issue

-lazy: q's & procedure, plan of day, rate of pt.'s acuity, report (look for, hi lite, check), assessment (look for, auscultate or initial only), how to report, type of doc.

-busy: ask for help, goal & ask about goal, procedure (IV...)

- don't judge as a person, put everything else aside, focus on objective, be professional or talk to instructor to change preceptor

Win with people book note

How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie

-be a winner yourself

-be healthy (physical and emotional)

-confident, warm, kind, stable, giving

-increase value by solving many problems leads to secure in self, recognition, acceptance

-may feel worthless, insignificant, never lose value as human being

-trigger temper, difficulty, setting boundary or take responsibility, bad habit, change attitude

-believe in value

-forget about insecurity, instead self improve

-practice 30 secs rule with conversation, encourage uplifting compliment, motivate, thanks, praise of personal quality or appearance, tell others of their accomplishments

-attention, affirmation, appreciation

-let people know you need them, give up or get help

-forget the prideful attitude of capable without help, ask who can help or input

-create memory & visit often, plan, set aside time, find a way to make something happen (show diary and photo, relieve talk)

-compliment people infront of other sincerely without hype

-give other a reputation to uphold, think the best & speak of other, back up with action, look pass their past, reputation for future

-say the right word at the right time

-leave unsaid the said the wrong thing at the tempting moment

-say it from the heart

-encourage dream of other, so that it will become a reality

-share, affirm, challenge, offer assistance, revisit dream, determine to boost it

-pass credit onto other

-check ego at the door

-don't wait

-offer the very best , max effort

-share a secret with someone

-mind the goal of good intention (benefit of the doubt)

-assume the best in others, check attitude

-see thing from other perspective

-appreciate of what other intend to do inspit of outcome, forgiveness as permanence attitude, forget about justice, focus on grace & forgiveness

-keep eyes off mirror & serve other with dignity, health & happiness

-do for other what they can't do for themselves: introduce, place, opportunity, share idea

-listen with your heart

-be the first to help

-be aware of other for help

-be willing to take risk

-add value to people, motivate, mutual advantage

-people want appreciation, not impress, human being not sounding board for other ego, end not toward gratification of another vanity

-make self more valuable: knowledge, skills, experience, increases ability to help other

-know what people value

-unclog ear (distraction, defensiveness, close mind, projection, assumption, pride)

-listen aggressively (pick up good idea)

-listen to understand

-find key to heart (family, business)

-accept that people are different

-dream, cry/pain, sing/joy (strength) value, temperament, act with integrity

-remember a person story

-look people in the eye, be attentive

-don't roll eye if not agree, don't interrupt, verify, remember

-share a good story: experience, goal of connecting, put heart into it (warm), assume other want to hear it

-give with no string attach (time, money, talent) abundant mentality

-remember people name, save

-point out people strength, self strength

-all player have a place where they most value

-look for best in other: force other to have good opinion on themselves, let other know you believe in them, speak up, encouragement, opportunity

-write not of encouragement

-what they like about other

-help people win: believe, hope, focus on process

great quotes

“You gain strength, courage and confident by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing, which you think you cannot do.”

Elenore Roosavelt

“Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.” William Shakespeare

“You have to allow yourself to be weak in order to grow stronger.” Gossip Girl

“The most authenic thing about us is our capacity to create, to overcome, to endure, to transform, to love and to be greater than our suffering.” Ben Okri

“No matter how dark the moment, love and hope are always possible.” George Chakiris

“Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My god, do you learn.” C.S. Lewis

“Hope is the thing with feather that purches in the soul and sing the tune without word, and never stop at all.” Emily Dickenson

“Many person have the wrong idea of what constitute true happiness, it is not attained through self gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.” Helen Keller

“Maybe I look at everything as a lesson or I don’t wanna walk around angry or maybe it’s because I finally understand; there are things we don’t wanna to happen but have to accept, things we don’t wanna know but have to learn and people we can’t live without but have to let go.” Criminal Minds

Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy. ~Leo Buscaglia

If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there worrying. It's the worry that gets you, not the lack of sleep. ~Dale Carnegie

I've developed a new philosophy... I only dread one day at a time. ~Charlie Brown (Charles Schulz)


Troubles are a lot like people - they grow bigger if you nurse them. ~Author Unknown